Manhattan Half Marathon – 2008

For today’s Manhattan Half Marathon, I decided to get to Central Park by way of running from Brooklyn. The race started at 8:30am so I needed to get an early start if I was going to make it on time. As usual, it took me forever to get ready and I made it out the door with not much time to spare. I wound up walking in and out of my house a few times before I actually got going, because I couldn’t decide how much clothes to wear. It was pretty cold and I wanted to make sure I had enough clothes since in essence I was doing a journey run; that is I was running away from my house and I would only have the things I was willing to carry with me. As usual I headed down Flatbush Avenue. This led me past Junior’s Restaurant a veritable Brooklyn Institution. I recently sent a cheesecake from there to a friend in California who returned the favor by sending me a couple of bottles of wine that he makes himself. It promises to be a fair and equitable exchange. I had no time to fuel up on cheesecake though and I kept heading for the Manhattan Bridge. It was an overcast day, cold and crisp and the air had the smell of snow; a perfect winter running day. I know I didn’t have time for it, but I decided to snap a picture while crossing the Manhattan Bridge. I told a friend I would send photos via my phone as I made my progress into the city. Once over the Manhattan Bridge, I made my way up the Bowery, past where the famous Punk Rock club CBGB’s used to be. I felt like stopping and taking more pictures as my journey progressed, but I realized I was not going to have enough time to make it to the race start. When I ran up 23rd Street, about 6.5 miles into my run, I decided I better take a cab if I was going to make it on time. I cabbed it up to the NYRR’s club on 89th, got my race number and then ran back down to the race start. This gave me 7 miles of running before the race. I had a minute to snap a picture in the crowd before the race began and then put my camera phone away as the race was about to begin. I wish I could say that I felt all warmed up and great and ran with the grace and ease of a gazelle. In actuality, my legs felt sluggish and slightly painful. I keep waiting for my legs to feel good again and for me to run with ease. It just feels like it has been so long since the last time I ran freely and easily. At one point I just felt like dropping out. I couldn’t do that though as I thought of those waiting and expecting me to cross the finish line. I wasn’t injured and I wasn’t sick, so I carried on. I relied on the many mental tricks I have to get through the race. Pushing through the pain is such a mental game. Getting yourself to go on when you don’t feel as though you can, takes mental toughness and fortitude. Yes there can be such exquisite pleasure in pain, knowing that you got yourself to that point, but able to keep moving on. What do you do though when you think you can’t go on? How do you push yourself to keep going at that point? What happens when the mental tricks used up and you are down to your bare soul? I never want to get to the point where I have nothing left in my bag of tricks and I give up. It would leave a bad taste it my mouth. Getting to that point would mean that I will quit. I need to load my mind with the ammunition it needs to push me through the darkest and toughest times. I am always looking at the example of others to learn how they are able to push through difficult circumstances. By reading about the experiences of others, I can draw on their examples to help me carry on. My mind is open to learning from the experiences of many a varied source; from the descriptions of racing from Steve Prefontaine, to the family that deals with tragedy or impossible circumstances to the sexual deviant who completely devotes themselves to a master or mistress. There is a never ending supply of people pushing through pain and difficulty to draw upon, that would make pushing through a simple running race look like a piece of cake. It’s like, if they can do that, I can certainly run these next few miles. So in any event I persevered through the race. I even started to feel better as I reached miles 11 and 12 of the race (about 18/19 miles total running) and was able to increase my pace towards the end. I ran 20 miles total for the day and I was happy to finish even though I set a PW (Personal Worst – 1:57:26) for the half marathon distance. That’s ok. I am not going for speed these days, I am going for distance. Slow and steady will get me to my destination.